Parents’ behaviors may range from somewhat to totally pathological. Often this is due to their own mental health issues, ignorance, how they were treated, or how they were taught to raise children.
I’m a firm believer that our traumatized adults (who may have everything from personality issues, to depression, to anxiety, to PTSD to ADHD) have to be shown/taught WHAT their parents did/didn’t do to them/for them (identify and put a name to the actions), potentially WHY the parents did such things (often admitting there is no way for us to know for sure), ACCEPTING (not forgetting, but not necessarily forgiving, either) that these events happened, then with current talk therapy and other techniques, UNLEARN habits/behaviors/internal talk, while REPLACING these habits/behaviors/techniques with more healthy/less dysfunctional habits/behaviors/techniques.
The hardest part is the FORGIVENESS OF ONE’S SELF for the shame, guilt, and the lost/wasted: time, money, energy, opportunities, and relationships.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
August 25, 2022
Saint Louis, Missouri