THE ADVANTAGE OF READING A PHYSICAL BOOK, MAGAZINE, OR NEWSPAPER IS THAT THESE ACTS ISOLATE US AND FOCUS OUR ATTENTION.

The disadvantage is that these acts occasionally slow down our fact checking and slow down our jumping around and ahead to more interesting or more important information.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

December 7, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

YEARS AGO, MY YOUNGEST BROTHER AND I ALMOST DROWNED TOGETHER. I’M THE ELDEST OF THREE BOYS. WE THREE WERE SWIMMING AT MY ADULT COUSINS’ APARTMENT COMPLEX’S POOL. NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY. OUR PARENTS, WHO HAD SENT US TO THE POOL, WERE VISITING MY COUSINS, UPSTAIRS, ABOUT 50 YARDS AWAY. I WAS ABOUT 9 YEARS OLD. MY TWO BROTHERS WERE 7 AND 6 YEARS OLD. THE YOUNGEST WOULD JUMP OFF THE SIDE INTO 8 FEET OF WATER, AND THEN FURIOUSLY DOGGY PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. THIS WOULD WORK IF HE WERE MORE HORIZONTAL WHEN HE WOULD PADDLE, BUT THIS ONE TIME HE WAS BOBBING VERTICALLY. SO, DOG PADDLING ONLY MADE HIM BOB UP AND DOWN MORE VIGOROUSLY, SPLASHING WATER UP INTO HIS FACE. HE BECAME PANICKED. I SAW HIM AND JUMPED IN TO HELP. MY LOVING BROTHER GRABBED ME, CLIMBED ON TOP OF ME, PUSHING ME UNDER. I WAS LAUGHING, BUT INSTANTLY REALIZED THAT I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH AIR. AS I SANK, WITH MY BROTHER HOLDING ONTO MY HEAD AND NECK, MY FEET HIT THE 8 FOOT BOTTOM, MAKING ME TEMPORARILY STABLE ENOUGH FOR MY BROTHER TO USE HIS FEET TO PUSH OFF MY SHOULDERS, AND PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. A COUPLE OF IRONIES: MY PARENTS NEVER FOUND OUT THAT THEY ALMOST LOST 2 SONS THAT DAY, AND ALL THREE OF US BOYS GREW UP TO BE LIFEGUARDS.

Whether in water or in life, drowning people, even if they love you tremendously, can and will drag you down with them. They are seconds away from dying. Your job, your goal, your DUTY, is to help them without endangering or sacrificing yourself.

Become a lifeguard: know dangerous areas and dangerous situations in and around you and your life; practice and refine your rescue techniques; watch out for each other; know where help resides and who to ask for help. Finally, and most importantly, ask for help early and often.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

December 5, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

SO MUCH OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS A REACTION TO, OR A RESPONSE TO (an answer to?), NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES IN OUR LIVES. THE MENTAL ILLNESS, A TYPE OF DYSFUNCTION, WAS NEEDED/ CREATED IN ORDER TO SURVIVE, AND MAKE SENSE OF, THOSE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES.

If you are reading this blog, then you are a survivor. You are alive. The mental illness, this dysfunction, has allowed you to get to the, “here and now”, but no longer serves its purpose of helping you survive, helping you make sense of a previous difficult condition or terrible situation. This mental illness is now a drag on your ability to progress and live a more health-filled and unburdened life.

I find that, in general, we cannot cure mental illness. Instead, I ask that we befriend our mental illness. Thank this dysfunction for being there when we needed it; for helping us survive. Now we can tuck it away, just like when we tuck away, into the back of our closets, our winter clothes, when spring time arrives. These winter clothes are still ours. We have not rid ourselves of these expensive, heavy, familiar, and needed clothing. But for now, for springtime, they don’t make sense, and are not needed.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 27, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

IF SOMEONE WERE TO OFFER TO REMOVE THE DAY-TO-DAY ROUTINE OF BRUSHING OUR KIDS’ HAIR, DRIVING THEM TO SCHOOL, LISTENING TO THEM DRONE ON ABOUT MEANINGLESS TOPICS, READING TO THEM, OR TUCKING THEM INTO BED, WE WOULD NOT TAKE THEM UP ON THAT OFFER. THERE ARE MANY MUNDANE, REPETITIVE TASKS THAT WE WOULD NEVER GIVE AWAY TO ANOTHER PERSON.

So much of life is not about speed and efficiency. We forget that what we try to accomplish at work, and the means we use to accomplish these goals, does not always apply to our personal lives.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 27, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

FOR PEOPLE WITH SEVERE ADDICTIONS, THE ADDICTIONS, AND THEIR ASSOCIATED BEHAVIORS, FEEL LIKE BREATHING: AUTOMATIC, CYCLIC, THOUGHTLESS, NATURAL, AND NEEDED FOR LIFE. THIS IS WHY, WHEN AN ADDICT PROMISES THEMSELVES, AND OTHERS, THAT THEY CAN QUIT (and that they will quit, when they are good and ready), IT IS AS IF THEY HAVE PROMISED TO HOLD THEIR BREATH. THEY MAY BE ABLE TO DO IT FOR A WHILE, BUT, EVENTUALLY, EVERY SEVERE ADDICT WILL RELAPSE. THEY HAVE TO BREATHE.

Severe addiction, and, probably most addictions, require that sufferers ask for, receive, use, and follow through with professional help in order to decrease and cease the repetitive behavior(s).

Many addictions often lead to financial, familial, work/career, health, and even legal problems.

Addictions are medical illnesses, with far reaching personal and social implications.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 26, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

ALL OF US WILL EXPERIENCE SIGNIFICANT, CUMULATIVE, LOSS IN OUR LIVES. I ASK THAT WE ADD (our losses, pains, grief, and lessons, as well as our empathy, support, joy, and gratitude) TO OUR LIVES. I ASK THAT WE ENLARGE AND ENRICH OUR LIVES, RATHER THAN IGNORE, DODGE, AND DENY, LEADING US TO BECOME EVEN MORE ISOLATED, DEPRESSED, OVERWHELMED AND DESPONDENT.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 24, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

MANY YEARS AGO I WAS SEATED ON AN AIRPLANE NEXT TO AN ARMY SERGEANT, DRESSED IN DESERT FATIGUES. HE SAID THAT EVERY AMERICAN NEEDS TO SPEND TIME OUTSIDE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN ORDER TO SEE HOW PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES LIVE. HE HAD FOUND THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WAY TO GIVE ANYONE AN APPRECIATION FOR WHAT WE HAVE IN OUR OWN LIVES, AT HOME.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 20, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri

OTHER PEOPLE HAVE LIVES, SCHEDULES, HOPES, DREAMS, GOALS, AND TRAUMAS WITH OR WITHOUT US ( before they had met us, after we leave them, or after they leave us). WE ARE SO VERY IMPORTANT IN THEIR LIVES, BUT WE DO NOT TOTALLY FILL THEIR LIVES.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 20, 2021

Saint Louis, Missouri