My email this morning to a friend who wants to feel better without having to drink so much, while not wanting to give up alcohol.

Good morning J.

This doesn’t work for everyone, but this maybe what you’re looking for:

The Sinclair Method (please watch YouTube first, then go to the website) https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts https://cthreefoundation.org/

And from the New York Times: “Cold Turkey Isn’t the Only Route” https://nyti.ms/1cmKofM

A related book, by the author of the New York Times piece: https://gabrielleglaser.com/books/her-best-kept-secret

Separately, these are all recognizable men ( I wonder why no women) who chose to cease alcohol.
I ran across this while watching random YouTube because I went to sleep too early…
If you watch, start at minute 3:10, through the end: https://youtu.be/cOoCAbXOAu4

Peace,
Charles

It is very hard for you to notice the need for change, initiate that change, or even sustain that change if everything and everybody around you is signaling that: they don’t care if you try to change, or that they don’t notice the need/your need for change or that they won’t participate in supporting your change.

You can read all the self-help books and watch all the self-help videos, and finally be convinced and finally have a strategy for your helping yourself make a needed change. Unfortunately, your friends, coworkers, relatives, and loved ones have not been on the same journey with you. Often, you will need their encouragement and their assistance in order to initiate, maintain, and sustain you’re need to change.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 13, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

The unwritten rules of showing that we’re serious about our work, wanting to keep our jobs, and and serious about supporting our employer…

taking responsibility, even if it’s not our fault

going, “above and beyond”, without asking for renumeration or recognition

taking on coworkers’ responsibilities

taking on more work than is assigned

anticipating coworkers’ and supervisors’ needs

not complaining

not criticizing

not job hunting

not asking for raises, positions, or job/career advancements

assuming that the company’s way or the boss’s way is the best way or the only way of doing things

not taking sick leave

skipping breaks

skipping lunch

not going to the bathroom

eating at our desks

coming in early

staying late

taking work home

working until we go to bed

pulling all-nighters

sacrificing family and close relationships

sacrificing mental and physical health

not clocking in (but still performing work)

not taking vacations

checking in /logging in during vacations

not using all of our vacation days

performing work while we’re on vacation

performing work while we’re on sick leave

paying out of our own pockets for work expenses

not turning in receipts (after paying out of our own pockets)

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 12, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

Shame and embarrassment, as well as the fear of these thoughts and feelings, persist in part because we’re in the same life situations, around the same friends, same family, same work, the same ques and triggers. These people and the places that make up our environments may represent love and support, but often these people and places lock us into our same patterns, making it difficult for us to accept ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and our situations. Intentionally, or unintentionally, these people and places make it difficult for us to accept reality while still asking ourselves to change by seeing things differently, thinking differently, and behaving differently.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 12, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

Your FICO score (credit worthiness) does not know your income, your net worth, your living paycheck to paycheck, who is paying your bills, or how you are paying your bills.

https://www.myfico.com/credit-education/whats-in-your-credit-score

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 10, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

Fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS) is nondestructive, whole body muscle and tendon (not joint) achiness that waxes and wanes.

FMS is a chronic pain disorder, with abnormalities on functional MRI (fMRI) of the brain: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-10489-1

FMS is often described,” like having (the achiness of) the flu”, or “like being hit (all over my body) with a baseball bat”, or, “like being run over by a bus”.

Often, FMS runs in families.

FMS is associated with depression, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or sleep disturbances.

FMS pain may flare due to: hunger, lack of sleep, stress, depression, tiredness, cold environments, muscular exertion (exercise, activities of daily living, etc.).

FMS may be treated with: antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, tricyclic antidepressants); muscle relaxers; sleep medications; warm showers/warm baths; gentle, warm-water exercises; improved fitness, and nonsteroidal antiinflammatory medicines (NSAIDS).

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 10, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

George Carlin

https://youtube.com/shorts/a9udFfIVuNA?feature=share

I used to think of Carlin as being nihilistic. But he is trying to be an observer…trying to be in this world, but not of this world.

I’ll call this a form of mental health…not to be trapped by religion, culture, or society, but to still care about the individual.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

December 19, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

Nice summary of the last 40 years of primary care in the U.S.

https://thehill.com/opinion/healthcare/3763739-a-four-point-strategy-to-disrupt-and-reinvent-primary-care/

The four point strategy to disrupt and reinvent primary care has many competing ideas, but the history that got us here is very accurate.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

December 8, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

A recent text to one of my dearest friends, regarding a very difficult time with a new diagnosis…

Your care is in very competent and kind hands. You are surrounded by a loving family.

Some of life’s problems become fully resolved, never to return again.

The majority of the problems that we face require a mixture of trade-offs and adjustments to living with limitations that we don’t like, but are made easier with gratitude…appreciating every moment and appreciating everybody.

Grace and Peace

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 19, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

Recognizing some of the most common pre-suicide thoughts, behaviors, and actions…

CALL or TEXT 988 for our National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

A HOPELESSNESS that things can be better AND HELPLESSNESS to do anything/ to ask anyone to make things better / to relieve the distress

Many adults send signals regarding their suicidality:

[Very young children will demonstrate almost none of these signs or symptoms.]

TALK about/INCREASED talking about SUICIDE

Talk about how OVERWHELMINGLY SAD they feel

Talk about BEING A BURDEN to OTHERS

TALK ABOUT NOT GOING TO BE MISSED

IDEALIZING SOMEONE ELSE’S SUICIDE

Talk about HOW ALONE (“alone in a room full of people”) and TIRED, or HOW SPENT THEY FEEL….both emotional (can’t get excited about anything) and physical tiredness

Talk about DEATH, or GOING TO SLEEP for a LONG TIME, or GOING AWAY

WONDER how death may feel…that it may feel RESTFUL, UNTROUBLED

GIVING AWAY some of their TREASURED BELONGINGS

ISOLATE by STOPPING socializing, responding to emails or texts

DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING that may show up as something called psychomotor slowing which could SHOW AS A DROP IN GRADES/SCHOOL PERFORMANCE AND WORK PERFORMANCE

LOSS OF INTEREST in favorite shows, activities, foods.

STOP SOCIAL MEDIA (or INCREASE its use for signaling some of topics, above)

ISOLATE by BREAK UP (via letters, emails, social media) with FRIENDS and PARTNERS

STOP SEEING / TALKING TO FRIENDS, FAVORITE RELATIVES/GRANDCHILDREN

STOP routine HYGIENE (brush, comb, shave, shower, laundering clothing)

PERSON/PERSONALITY CHANGES: WT LOSS, MORE HAGGARD LOOKING, MORE IRRITABLE/ANGRY, MISSING APPOINTMENTS, CARING LESS IN AREAS WHERE THEY USED TO CARE

One of the final events is that ONCE THE PERSON HAS MADE THE DECISION or PLAN TO COMMIT SUICIDE, this person may suddenly look CALM, PEACEFUL, ALMOST HAPPY.

CALL or TEXT 988 for our National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Charles Tadros, M.D.

November 19, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

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