Here’s a mental trick regarding a source for your own motivation…

If someone is telling you to do, or not to do something, neither of which were in your plans, but you agree with the goal(s), find your own, real reason, to do as they wished (but not use any of their thinking).

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 29, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

The vast majority of us feel better about ourselves if we are able to say, ” Yes” or, “Yes…and….” to ourselves, or to others, instead of the opposite.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 29, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

My email this morning to a friend who wants to feel better without having to drink so much, while not wanting to give up alcohol.

Good morning J.

This doesn’t work for everyone, but this maybe what you’re looking for:

The Sinclair Method (please watch YouTube first, then go to the website)

And from the New York Times: “Cold Turkey Isn’t the Only Route”

A related book, by the author of the New York Times piece:

Separately, these are all recognizable men ( I wonder why no women) who chose to cease alcohol.
I ran across this while watching random YouTube because I went to sleep too early…
If you watch, start at minute 3:10, through the end:


It is very hard for you to notice the need for change, initiate that change, or even sustain that change if everything and everybody around you is signaling that: they don’t care if you try to change, or that they don’t notice the need/your need for change or that they won’t participate in supporting your change.

You can read all the self-help books and watch all the self-help videos, and finally be convinced and finally have a strategy for your helping yourself make a needed change. Unfortunately, your friends, coworkers, relatives, and loved ones have not been on the same journey with you. Often, you will need their encouragement and their assistance in order to initiate, maintain, and sustain your need to change.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 13, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

The unwritten rules of showing that we’re serious about our work, wanting to keep our jobs, and serious about supporting our employer…

taking responsibility, even if it’s not our fault

going, “above and beyond”, without asking for renumeration or recognition

taking on coworkers’ responsibilities

taking on more work than is assigned

anticipating coworkers’ and supervisors’ needs

not complaining

not criticizing

not job hunting

not asking for raises, positions, or job/career advancements

assuming that the company’s way or the boss’s way is the best way or the only way of doing things

not taking sick leave

skipping breaks

skipping lunch

not going to the bathroom

eating at our desks

coming in early

staying late

taking work home

working until we go to bed

pulling all-nighters

sacrificing family and close relationships

sacrificing mental and physical health

not clocking in (but still performing work)

not taking vacations

checking in /logging in during vacations

not using all of our vacation days

performing work while we’re on vacation

performing work while we’re on sick leave or maternity leave

coming back to work earlier than expected from vacation, sick leave or maternity leave

paying out of our own pockets for work expenses

not turning in receipts (after paying out of our own pockets)

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 12, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

Shame and embarrassment, as well as the fear of these thoughts and feelings, persist in part because we’re in the same life situations, around the same friends, same family, same work, the same ques and triggers. These people and the places that make up our environments may represent love and support, but often these people and places lock us into our same patterns, making it difficult for us to accept ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and our situations. Intentionally, or unintentionally, these people and places make it difficult for us to accept reality while still asking ourselves to change by seeing things differently, thinking differently, and behaving differently.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

January 12, 2023

Saint Louis, Missouri

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