Our children are “on loan” to us parents (and to other adults) so that we can teach, protect, and provide for them until they’re able to take over these responsibilities.

It’s a common assumption, and a misconception, that if we adults donate to our children so much of our lives…our love, time, energy, and money, that we somehow “own” more of our kids, or we have dibs on what they will eventually produce. We do not. Some of us even will assume that our childrenContinue reading “Our children are “on loan” to us parents (and to other adults) so that we can teach, protect, and provide for them until they’re able to take over these responsibilities.”

MANY TIMES WHEN ADULTS HAVE HAD DIFFICULT CHILDHOODS (trauma, basic needs not met, familial instability, abandonment, abuse, fear, confusion, personal illness or family members’ illnesses) THE STABLE AND SECURE FOUNDATIONS WHICH SHOULD HAVE DEVELOPED, NEVER FORMED. THESE HEALTHY FOUNDATIONS ARE IMPERATIVE IN ALLOWING YOUNGSTERS TO EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE NEST, EXPLORE, QUESTION, EXPERIMENT, FAIL, LEARN, AND STILL BE ABLE TO COME BACK TO LOVE, KINDNESS, APPROPRIATE CONSEQUENCES, REASONABLE BOUNDARIES, AND ACCEPTANCE. THESE ACTIONS AND RESPONSES ARE NEEDED IN ORDER TO HELP CHILDREN, WHO ARE NOW ADULTS, TO FORM A HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF AND TO BE ABLE TO HEALTHFULLY SELF REGULATE.

Charles Tadros, M.D. March 6, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri

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