It’s a common assumption, and a misconception, that if we adults donate to our children so much of our lives…our love, time, energy, and money, that we somehow “own” more of our kids, or we have dibs on what they will eventually produce. We do not. Some of us even will assume that our childrenContinue reading “Our children are “on loan” to us parents (and to other adults) so that we can teach, protect, and provide for them until they’re able to take over these responsibilities.”
Tag Archives: support
My text to a 22 year old family friend about the dislikes of his first full-time job…and my sense of the world as a 58 year-old father, husband, son, brother, physician, and former employee (turned employer).
Thanks for hanging out yesterday.I see a direct line between people who loved me and supported me (and often suffered while doing so) to my being able to sit casually with you to have a nice lunch, decades later. Seriously consider listening to what you think, say, and feel as NOT being abnormal or diseased.Continue reading “My text to a 22 year old family friend about the dislikes of his first full-time job…and my sense of the world as a 58 year-old father, husband, son, brother, physician, and former employee (turned employer).”
The more I think about it, the more I see our personal health is a confluence of our genetics, proteomics, epigenetics, and our microbiome with these external factors: our education (general education and education specific to our own health), socioeconomic status, stress, nutrition, sleep, exercise, beliefs, love, connections, support, and priorities.
We may not have absolute free-will. It may be that certain biological forces sway our thoughts, perceptions, decisions, and actions much more than we realize. Charles Tadros, M.D. February 4, 2023 Saint Louis, Missouri
The tail end of my discussion with a young friend regarding his natural frustration, 4 weeks into his first real job…
by the way your bosses, just like your high school coaches, push you hard and don’t want to hear excuses. They believe that you can do good work.What your new bosses will notice are: 1) that you show up on time or, better yet, early. 2) that you ask insightful questions, BUT DO NOT ASKContinue reading “The tail end of my discussion with a young friend regarding his natural frustration, 4 weeks into his first real job…”
Shame and embarrassment, as well as the fear of these thoughts and feelings, persist in part because we’re in the same life situations, around the same friends, same family, same work, the same ques and triggers. These people and the places that make up our environments may represent love and support, but often these people and places lock us into our same patterns, making it difficult for us to accept the unpleasant aspects of ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and our situations. Intentionally, or unintentionally, these people and places make it difficult for us to accept reality while still asking ourselves to change by seeing things differently, thinking differently, and behaving differently.
Charles Tadros, M.D. January 12, 2023 Saint Louis, Missouri
Being open to people and showing them kindness and support does not mean that these others will abuse you or your kindness.
“You will never say or do anything to turn me against you or change my perception of you as a worthy person.”(All of us deserve to have heard this truth from our parents.) Charles Tadros, M.D. September 21, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri
ONCE WE ARE CONVINCED THAT IMPORTANT CHANGES NEED TO BE MADE IN OUR LIVES (OR WE ACTUALLY MAKE THESE CHANGES), OUR WORK IS NOT DONE. SINCE NONE OF US LIVE IN A VACUUM, WHAT MAY BE LEFT TO DO IS TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO: ALLOW THESE CHANGES, ACCEPT THESE CHANGES, SUPPORT US IN THESE CHANGES, OR AT LEAST NOT BLOCK OR CHALLENGE THESE CHANGES. OFTEN, OTHERS ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH OUR CHANGES, SO WE HAVE TO DECIDE IF WE ARE GOING TO SPEND TIME AND ENERGY CONVINCING THESE PEOPLE, OR IGNORING THESE PEOPLE.
What we often forget is that our changes force others to think about, or even expend energy on: understanding what is happening, supporting us, or even possibly needing to make their own changes. Charles Tadros, M.D. April 10, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri
IF WE HAVE REPEATEDLY GRINDING FULL DAYS’ WORTH OF WORK AND RESPONSIBILITIES, IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO GET DONE WITH WORK JUST IN TIME TO EAT AND GO TO BED. NO MATTER HOW MUCH LOVE, GRIT, RESILIENCE, AND SUPPORT WE HAVE, SOONER OR LATER, OUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH WILL SCREAM OUT WITH EXHAUSTION, PAIN, IRRITABILITY, DISEASE, AND BURNOUT.
Charles Tadros M.D. September 29, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri
NEVER ASSUME THAT YOU AND YOUR SUPERVISORS/BOSSES HAVE THE SAME GOALS (or even similar goals), THE SAME ASSESSMENT OF RISK, THE SAME SENSE OF URGENCY, THE SAME ENERGY, THE SAME EXECUTION TIME TABLE, THE SAME UNDERSTANDING OF OTHER COMPETING TASKS / GOALS, THE SAME OBSESSIVENESS TO DETAIL, OR THE SAME SENSE OF SUPPORT FROM OTHERS.
Charles Tadros, M.D. September 9, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri
WHEN IT COMES TO CHILDREN, STRESSING THEM AND SUPPORTING THEM, WHILE THEY ARE AROUND WATCHFUL, LOVING AND CARING ADULTS, IS THE KEY FOR OUR SOCIETY TO NOT LOWER STANDARDS, BUT, INSTEAD, HELP RAISE OUR CHILDRENS’ CONFIDENCES AND CAPABILITIES, WHILE LOWERING THEIR FEARS AND ANXIETIES.
Charles Tadros, M.D. July 29, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri