It is very hard for you to notice the need for change, initiate that change, or even sustain that change if everything and everybody around you is signaling that: they don’t care if you try to change, or that they don’t notice the need/your need for change or that they won’t participate in supporting your change.

You can read all the self-help books and watch all the self-help videos, and finally be convinced and finally have a strategy for your helping yourself make a needed change. Unfortunately, your friends, coworkers, relatives, and loved ones have not been on the same journey with you. Often, you will need their encouragement and theirContinue reading “It is very hard for you to notice the need for change, initiate that change, or even sustain that change if everything and everybody around you is signaling that: they don’t care if you try to change, or that they don’t notice the need/your need for change or that they won’t participate in supporting your change.”

Shame and embarrassment, as well as the fear of these thoughts and feelings, persist in part because we’re in the same life situations, around the same friends, same family, same work, the same ques and triggers. These people and the places that make up our environments may represent love and support, but often these people and places lock us into our same patterns, making it difficult for us to accept ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, and our situations. Intentionally, or unintentionally, these people and places make it difficult for us to accept reality while still asking ourselves to change by seeing things differently, thinking differently, and behaving differently.

Charles Tadros, M.D. January 12, 2023 Saint Louis, Missouri

SOME PEOPLE NEED TO LEAVE THEIR COUNTRY IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO:

leave their pasts distance themselves from their family make different friends experience new environments improve their socioeconomic, educational, political, personal, and religious conditions improve their mindsets Charles Tadros, M.D. July 6, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri

IT IS IMPORTANT TO REGULARLY REVIEW OUR OWN, HISTORICALLY IMPORTANT, LIFE DECISIONS AND THEIR RESULTS. THEN, WE CAN DECIDE TO MAKING CHANGES, OR WE CAN RECOMMIT TO ACCEPTING OUR DECISIONS AND HOW THESE DECISIONS HAVE LED US TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY.

It is quite unsettling to review entrenched assumptions, decades-old decisions, accepted results, reasonable consequences and still want to make changes which probably will change the course of our lives. Even if we are open to such introspection, others who may become affected by our choices, may not understand, and may not be accepting. The mostContinue reading “IT IS IMPORTANT TO REGULARLY REVIEW OUR OWN, HISTORICALLY IMPORTANT, LIFE DECISIONS AND THEIR RESULTS. THEN, WE CAN DECIDE TO MAKING CHANGES, OR WE CAN RECOMMIT TO ACCEPTING OUR DECISIONS AND HOW THESE DECISIONS HAVE LED US TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY.”

ONCE WE ARE CONVINCED THAT IMPORTANT CHANGES NEED TO BE MADE IN OUR LIVES (OR WE ACTUALLY MAKE THESE CHANGES), OUR WORK IS NOT DONE. SINCE NONE OF US LIVE IN A VACUUM, WHAT MAY BE LEFT TO DO IS TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO: ALLOW THESE CHANGES, ACCEPT THESE CHANGES, SUPPORT US IN THESE CHANGES, OR AT LEAST NOT BLOCK OR CHALLENGE THESE CHANGES. OFTEN, OTHERS ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH OUR CHANGES, SO WE HAVE TO DECIDE IF WE ARE GOING TO SPEND TIME AND ENERGY CONVINCING THESE PEOPLE, OR IGNORING THESE PEOPLE.

What we often forget is that our changes force others to think about, or even expend energy on: understanding what is happening, supporting us, or even possibly needing to make their own changes. Charles Tadros, M.D. April 10, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri

OCCASIONALLY, WHEN I AM LISTENING TO A YOUNG MAN OR WOMAN WHO IS LOST IN LIFE, WHO DOES NOT SEEM TO FIT IN WITH THEIR FAMILY, FRIENDS, JOB, CAREER, OR TOWN, I REMIND THEM THAT FOR A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS AND LESS THAN 5 HOURS ON AN AIRPLANE, THEY CAN MOVE TO ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES WHERE THEY MAY FIND A BETTER SOCIAL FIT, VARIED JOB AND CAREER OPPORTUNITIES, MORE LIFE SATISFACTION, AND, POSSIBLY, INTERNAL PEACE AND HAPPINESS.

Charles Tadros, M.D. February 2, 2022 Saint Louis, Missouri

A WAY TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY ABOUT THE POTENTIAL FOR UNWANTED CHANGE IS FOR US TO CHOOSE TO ADD (lessons, experiences, people, growth, costs, pains) TO OUR LIVES. OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE TOO SAD AND TOO PAINFUL TO CONSIDER THESE CHANGES AS LOSSES OR AS DISASTERS.

Charles Tadros, M.D. December 24, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

SOMETIMES WE ARE IN SO DEEPLY INTO A SITUATION OR A RELATIONSHIP, THAT WE LOSE A SENSE OF HOW DIFFERENT THINGS COULD BE OR SHOULD BE.

I often hear comments from people who are drowning in terrible relationships, “Is this normal?”, “How do I know if this is normal?”, “Does it have to be this way?”, “Part of the problem has been me, and my [weight, depression, parents, work, kids from another relationship…] issues.” My question to them is, “What wouldContinue reading “SOMETIMES WE ARE IN SO DEEPLY INTO A SITUATION OR A RELATIONSHIP, THAT WE LOSE A SENSE OF HOW DIFFERENT THINGS COULD BE OR SHOULD BE.”

THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF BEING ON THE RECEIVING END OF INTENTIONAL OR UNINTENTIONAL PAIN (physical, emotional, spiritual/existential, relationship, financial) IS THAT IT IS TRANSFORMATIONAL. OUR PAIN FORCES US TO THINK DIFFERENTLY, TO EMPATHIZE MORE READILY, AND TO PUSH US TOWARD EFFECTING AND ACCEPTING CHANGE.

Charles Tadros, M.D. September 19, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

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