SOME PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING OR UNABLE TO DO MORE FOR THEMSELVES, LET ALONE HELP OTHERS BECAUSE:

1) Every project seems to have no bounds… bottomless and endless when it comes to how much time and energy it will require in order to successfully complete it. 2) As soon as one commits to spending time or expending energy, invariably, their other tasks, commitments, and schedules will expand and require immediate attention, leavingContinue reading “SOME PEOPLE ARE UNWILLING OR UNABLE TO DO MORE FOR THEMSELVES, LET ALONE HELP OTHERS BECAUSE:”

YEARS AGO, MY YOUNGEST BROTHER AND I ALMOST DROWNED TOGETHER. I’M THE ELDEST OF THREE BOYS. WE THREE WERE SWIMMING AT MY ADULT COUSINS’ APARTMENT COMPLEX’S POOL. NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY. OUR PARENTS, WHO HAD SENT US TO THE POOL, WERE VISITING MY COUSINS, UPSTAIRS, ABOUT 50 YARDS AWAY. I WAS ABOUT 9 YEARS OLD. MY TWO BROTHERS WERE 7 AND 6 YEARS OLD. THE YOUNGEST WOULD JUMP OFF THE SIDE INTO 8 FEET OF WATER, AND THEN FURIOUSLY DOGGY PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. THIS WOULD WORK IF HE WERE MORE HORIZONTAL WHEN PADDLING, BUT THIS ONE TIME HE WAS BOBBING VERTICALLY. SO, DOG PADDLING ONLY MADE HIM BOB UP AND DOWN MORE VIGOROUSLY, SPLASHING WATER UP INTO HIS FACE. HE BECAME PANICKED. I SAW HIM AND JUMPED IN TO HELP. MY LOVING BROTHER GRABBED ME, CLIMBED ON TOP OF ME, PUSHING ME UNDER. I WAS LAUGHING, BUT INSTANTLY REALIZED THAT I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH AIR. AS I SANK, WITH MY BROTHER HOLDING ONTO MY HEAD AND NECK, MY FEET HIT THE 8 FOOT BOTTOM, MAKING ME TEMPORARILY STABLE ENOUGH FOR MY BROTHER TO USE HIS FEET TO PUSH OFF MY SHOULDERS, AND PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. A COUPLE OF IRONIES: MY PARENTS NEVER FOUND OUT THAT THEY ALMOST LOST 2 SONS THAT DAY, AND ALL THREE OF US BOYS GREW UP TO BE LIFEGUARDS.

Whether in water or in life, drowning people, even if they love you tremendously, can and will drag you down with them. They are dying. Your job, your goal, your DUTY, is to help them, without endangering or sacrificing yourself. Become a lifeguard: know dangerous areas and dangerous situations in and around you and yourContinue reading “YEARS AGO, MY YOUNGEST BROTHER AND I ALMOST DROWNED TOGETHER. I’M THE ELDEST OF THREE BOYS. WE THREE WERE SWIMMING AT MY ADULT COUSINS’ APARTMENT COMPLEX’S POOL. NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY. OUR PARENTS, WHO HAD SENT US TO THE POOL, WERE VISITING MY COUSINS, UPSTAIRS, ABOUT 50 YARDS AWAY. I WAS ABOUT 9 YEARS OLD. MY TWO BROTHERS WERE 7 AND 6 YEARS OLD. THE YOUNGEST WOULD JUMP OFF THE SIDE INTO 8 FEET OF WATER, AND THEN FURIOUSLY DOGGY PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. THIS WOULD WORK IF HE WERE MORE HORIZONTAL WHEN PADDLING, BUT THIS ONE TIME HE WAS BOBBING VERTICALLY. SO, DOG PADDLING ONLY MADE HIM BOB UP AND DOWN MORE VIGOROUSLY, SPLASHING WATER UP INTO HIS FACE. HE BECAME PANICKED. I SAW HIM AND JUMPED IN TO HELP. MY LOVING BROTHER GRABBED ME, CLIMBED ON TOP OF ME, PUSHING ME UNDER. I WAS LAUGHING, BUT INSTANTLY REALIZED THAT I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH AIR. AS I SANK, WITH MY BROTHER HOLDING ONTO MY HEAD AND NECK, MY FEET HIT THE 8 FOOT BOTTOM, MAKING ME TEMPORARILY STABLE ENOUGH FOR MY BROTHER TO USE HIS FEET TO PUSH OFF MY SHOULDERS, AND PADDLE BACK TO SAFETY. A COUPLE OF IRONIES: MY PARENTS NEVER FOUND OUT THAT THEY ALMOST LOST 2 SONS THAT DAY, AND ALL THREE OF US BOYS GREW UP TO BE LIFEGUARDS.”

It is REALLY, REALLY hard for anyone smart, competent, or an expert to recognize, let alone ask for or accept help (let alone pay for help).

It is a common internal fallacy that if one is competent, or an expert in one field or one domain that s/he can do the same or be the same in related (or even unrelated) fields. Charles Tadros, M.D. November 9, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

I CAN…

help you to be less depressed and less anxious, but I cannot make you happy. help you have fewer cravings for your addictive substances, but I cannot make you clean and sober. help you decrease the risk of a second heart attack and stroke, but I cannot take away your atherosclerotic artery disease. help decreaseContinue reading “I CAN…”

AS A PHYSICIAN, I APOLOGIZE THAT, FOR MANY OF US WITH CHRONIC MEDICAL CONDITIONS, MODERN, WESTERN MEDICINE WILL NOT AND CANNOT HELP US IN THE WAYS THAT WE WANT OR IN THE WAYS THAT WE NEED.

Charles Tadros, M.D. August 13, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR HELP? ASKING FOR HELP DOES NOT MEAN…

I can help. I am willing to help. I can or will help in the time-frame that you need. I can help in the way you want me to help. I can help in the way you are willing to accept my help. that my help will meet your standards. that my help will beContinue reading “WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR HELP? ASKING FOR HELP DOES NOT MEAN…”

IT IS IMPORTANT TO RECOGNIZE THAT IF YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU SUPPORT THEM, SOMETIMES THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO. KNOWING THAT THEY HAVE YOUR SUPPORT, GIVES OTHERS STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE TO DO WHAT IS NECESSARY, OFTEN LEADING TO THEIR NOT NEEDING YOUR HELP AFTER ALL.

Charles Tadros, M.D. July 19, 2021 Saint Louis, Misy

THERE IS NOTHING IN ANY TEXTBOOK OR ANY STUDY WHICH STATES THAT WE SHOULD GIVE UP TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE, EVEN IF THIS PERSON HAS FAILED DOZENS, AND DOZENS, AND DOZENS OF TIMES TO IMPROVE THEIR LIVES.

Charles Tadros, M.D. July 15, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

WITH SEVERE PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS, A PATIENT WILL, OFTEN, MENTION THE PROBLEM, ASK FOR, AND ACCEPT HELP. WITH SEVERE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, OFTEN, A PATIENT WILL NOT HAVE ENOUGH INSIGHT TO RECOGNIZE AND NAME THE PROBLEM, LET ALONE ASK FOR HELP.

Charles Tadros, M.D. July 12, 2021 Saint Louis, Missouri

SUPPRESSING YOUR CHRONIC WORRIES, PANIC, IRRATIONAL THINKING, AND FEARS IN ORDER TO BETTER ACCOMPLISH MORE AND BETTER THINGS, COMES WITH EXPOSURE, PRACTICE, AND SELF KNOWLEDGE.

The unfortunate fact about intrusive, anxious thoughts, fears and panic is that if you give them room to breathe and grow, they will never let you go. Get help, NOW! Your new life needs to start today. Do not give this monster another moment of your precious and limited life on this planet. Charles Tadros,Continue reading “SUPPRESSING YOUR CHRONIC WORRIES, PANIC, IRRATIONAL THINKING, AND FEARS IN ORDER TO BETTER ACCOMPLISH MORE AND BETTER THINGS, COMES WITH EXPOSURE, PRACTICE, AND SELF KNOWLEDGE.”