Even as adults, many of us still look for affirmation that we’re OK, that we’re acceptable…that we have made right and good choices.
Charles Tadros
April 12, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
My text to a 22 year old family friend about the dislikes of his first full-time job…and my sense of the world as a 58 year-old father, husband, son, brother, physician, and former employee (turned employer).
Thanks for hanging out yesterday.
I see a direct line between people who loved me and supported me (and often suffered while doing so) to my being able to sit casually with you to have a nice lunch, decades later.
Seriously consider listening to what you think, say, and feel as NOT being abnormal or diseased.
It’s not that you will feel or think exactly the same way 5, 10 or 20 years from now. But, for now, this is the real you.
All decisions and actions (or lack thereof) come with trade-offs and consequences. Being able to accept these and work within these constraints (or getting rid of these confining thoughts and beliefs) is the real you!!
Everyone of us has to eat a little bit of shit in order to get through our days…to make money so that we can take care of our obligations.
It’s up to you to figure out how much crap you’re willing to put up with in order to meet your needs and obligations. YOU’RE NOT AS STUCK AS YOU THINK, you’re just not wanting to accept the consequences or trade-offs that come with different decisions, with change, and with uncertainty.
Most actions and events in our lives will not be soul-inspiring, nor will they be direct lines to achieving our desired goals…but that’s OK, and you’re still OK.
Peace.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
May 8, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
Too many people, governments, cultures, and societies do not clearly state that there is an expected, and acceptable, level of financial loss, expanding socioeconomic and health disparities, emotional harm, societal instability, personal disability, or even death as consequences of certain decisions or actions.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
April 23, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
“PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING!” only gets us part of the way there.
How about…
“Perception, and the continued unquestioning acceptance of this perception, as well as acting on this unconfirmed and unchallenged perception, is everything.”
Charles Tadros, M.D.
April 23, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
Preventing / minimizing childhood traumas and relieving / minimizing socioeconomic determinants of poor health, would add more years of life, save more lives, and save societies more money, than all the high technology treatments used in modern, Western healthcare.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
April 18, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
It’s not a choice, it’s his/hers/their truth.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
April 18, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
One aspect of culture for boys vs girls when it comes to: challenges, puzzles, competition, persistence, and perfectionism.
Science, Policy, Messages, Messengers
Sometimes it’s the message that’s not to be trusted, sometimes it’s the messenger, sometimes it’s both. How can we tell the difference?
What is confusing is that so many messages are a mixture of (best known) truths, (manipulative) falsehoods, (honest) mistakes, and (unstated) uncertainties.
Life, death, disabilities, fear, hate, blame, loss of trust, disbelief, disgust, and loss of relationships are all, “in-play” if we toss out good information / good advice because the messenger doesn’t engender trust.
At best, science should inform policy making (i.e. even the best of science shouldn’t automatically become policy).
By the same token, policy or culture should not be allowed to influence the scientific process.
It is a desirable balancing act to have tension between the scientific process and policy making.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
March 29, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
Manic, depressed, anxious, traumatized, or addicted people don’t forget their education, their knowledge, or their common sense when they make unwise choices or make poor decisions. They make unwise choices, poor decisions, and take unhelpful actions because the drive to avoid immediate pain, to obtain a near-term reward, or to experience a fleeting pleasure is so very overwhelmingly strong.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
March 28, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri
About learning…
I seem to need several things:
To understand the big picture (often to name and understand what I see and what I hear) and then drill down to the, “what, where, when, and why” (ie the minutiae), then step back to the big picture, then drill down to other minutiae.
I need to hear about common mistakes and mistaken assumptions (i.e. I have to understand why I need to remove my previous, incorrect perceptions/thinking before I understand and remember the correct / better insights and thinking).
I need to practice, specifically, many different scenarios, in order to feel comfortable and secure in my knowledge (and to be able to securely build upon this knowledge).
As long as the information and lessons are accurate, specific, and digestible, I’m happy to learn from any source.
Charles Tadros, M.D.
March 22, 2023
Saint Louis, Missouri