CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND NEGLECT AFFECT US, BUT DO NOT HAVE TO CONTROL US…

Parents’ behaviors may range from somewhat to totally pathological.  Often this is due to their own mental health issues, ignorance, how they were treated, or how they were taught to raise children.

I’m a firm believer that our traumatized adults (who may have everything from personality issues, to depression, to anxiety, to PTSD to ADHD) have to be shown/taught WHAT their parents did/didn’t do to them/for them (identify and put a name to the actions), potentially WHY the parents did such things (often admitting there is no way for us to know for sure), ACCEPTING (not forgetting, but not necessarily forgiving, either) that these events happened, then with current talk therapy and other techniques, UNLEARN habits/behaviors/internal talk, while REPLACING these habits/behaviors/techniques with more healthy/less dysfunctional habits/behaviors/techniques.

The hardest part is the FORGIVENESS OF ONE’S SELF for the shame, guilt, and the lost/wasted: time, money, energy, opportunities, and relationships.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202208/raised-parents-low-emotional-intelligence

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 25, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

I ASK PATIENTS TO NOT SUDDENLY STOP SUBSTANCES SUCH AS ALCOHOL, BENZODIAZEPINES (Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Tranxene, etc.), OR SEDATIVE-HYPNOTIC DRUGS (these are sleep aids, which are typically long-acting benzodiazepines such as Ambien, Lunesta, Restoril, Dalmane, Halcion, etc.) WITHOUT PROFESSIONAL HELP. SUDDEN CESSATION OF THESE PRODUCTS MAY LEAD TO SEIZURES AND DEATH.

Often, unintentionally, or due to fragmentation of care, or due to improper documentation/lack of review of documentation, or due to concealment by the patient, some patients are also using alcohol while taking a benzodiazepine along with a sleep aid. The combination of 2 or 3 categories of products are especially dangerous (excessive sedation, confusion/delirium, falls, or respiratory arrest). Additionally, when trying to suddenly discontinue 2 or 3 categories of products all at once, there is a significantly increased risk of seizures and death.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 17, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

IS A 4-DAY WORK WEEK BETTER FOR MENTAL HEALTH THAN THE 5-DAY WORK WEEK? WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF A 3-DAY WORK WEEK, OR A 2-DAY WORK WEEK? PART OF THE PROBLEM IS THAT GETTING BACK INTO A TRULY PRODUCTIVE WORK MODE TAKES SOME REORIENTATION, EFFORT, FOCUS, AND TIME. IT’S LIKE STOP-AND-GO TRAFFIC… IT TAKES QUITE A BIT OF ENERGY TO BOTH SLOW DOWN THE MOMENTUM, AND THEN GET BACK UP TO SPEED.

Do most jobs or projects really require an 8-hour work day (or really, when taking into account breaks and lunch time, a 7.5 hour or 7 hour workday)?

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 16, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

WORKERS WANT THEIR BOSSES TO CATCH OTHER WORKERS NOT DOING THEIR JOBS. BOSSES CANNOT RELY ON WORKERS TURNING IN THEIR COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS, EVEN THOUGH POOR PERFORMANCES FROM SOME WORKERS SHIFT MORE WORK, RESPONSIBILITIES, AND RISK ONTO THEIR FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 12, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO SHOW US HOW MUCH THEY ARE PAINED, SADDENED, OR DESPAIRED. TOO OFTEN THESE PEOPLE DON’T HAVE THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE, OR CAN’T EFFECTIVELY USE THEIR WORDS TO DESCRIBE, THE MAGNITUDE AND INTENSITY OF WHAT THEY FEEL OR WHAT THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED.

Expression of such strong emotions may lead to equally strong responses and reactions, such as:

graffiti

creativity and art

piercings

tattoos

mood disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders

self harm

substance abuse

high risk behaviors

violence

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 10, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

PSYCHOTHERAPY, PSYCHIATRY, AND PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING INVOLVE EXPERTLY LISTENING, OBSERVING, ASSESSING, CATEGORIZING, AND DIAGNOSING CLIENTS AND PATIENTS. TOO OFTEN WHAT IS NOT SHARED WITH THESE CLIENTS AND PATIENTS ARE: THE THOUGHT PROCESSES, ALGORITHMS, DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA, CONFLICTING RESULTS, AND ACTUAL CONCLUSIONS WHICH GUIDE THEIR THERAPIES.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 9, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

WHEN MANY OF US USE ALCOHOL, OFTEN IT IS IN ASSOCIATION WITH POSITIVE  EVENTS SUCH AS:

BEING CREATIVE

BEING FUNNY

BEING SEXUAL

CONNECTING WITH SPOUSE/PARTNER,

CONNECTING WITH FRIENDS,

REWARDING OURSELVES AFTER MOWING THE LAWN/DOING YARD WORK,

RITUALS OF BARBEQUING,

COOKING DINNER,

RELAXING ON WEEKENDS and DURING VACATIONS,

SHARING TEAM SPIRIT AND ENJOYING SPORTS,

RELAXING AND UNWINDING AFTER A HARD DAY’S WORK, AND

PARTIES: BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, GRADUATIONS, WEDDINGS, SHOWERS, HOLIDAYS, COMING OF AGE CELEBRATIONS

ALL OF THESE ARE POSITIVE ACTIVITIES, WORTH REPEATING. WHAT BECOMES PROBLEMATIC IS THAT WE ATTACH ALCOHOL USE, WHICH, BY ITSELF, HAS THE POTENTIAL OF BECOMING PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, FINANCIALLY, AND SOCIALLY HARMFUL.

THE LOGIC OF WHAT FOLLOWS IS THAT IF WE REMOVE ALCOHOL USE, WE POTENTIALLY REMOVE ALL THE POSITIVE ASSOCIATIONS, AND FOND MEMORIES (AND POTENTIALLY RUIN FUTURE MEMORIES, YET TO BE MADE).

WHAT MANY OF US HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED, AND THEREFORE FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE, IS THAT WE CAN HAVE ALL THESE POSITIVE EXPERIENCES AND ASSOCIATED FOND MEMORIES, WITHOUT INVOLVING ALCOHOL AT ALL.

http://notyourdoc.blog/2022/04/21/how-we-drink-alcohol-what-when-where-how-much-the-reasons-for-drinking-and-how-alcohol-affects-us-are-more-telling-than-we-realize/

https://notyourdoc.blog/2021/07/14/alcohol/

Charles Tadros, M.D.

August 1, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

WHEN IT COMES TO PHYSICAL CONFLICT, POLICE ACTION, OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED WARS, UNOFFICIAL WARS, AND PROXY WARS, WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO PRAISE OUR HEROES, DEVELOP LIFE-LONG COMRADERIES, RECOGNIZE SACRIFICE, AND COMMEND EXCEPTIONAL LEADERSHIP WITHOUT SUCH HISTORICAL VIOLENCE, LOSS, DESTRUCTION, AND BLOODSHED. PEACE BE WITH ALL WHO ARE AT WAR.

Avoiding battle does NOT mean:

devaluing extensive, multifaceted, coordinated military intelligence, or

naively believing that diplomacy is a tool to be used in isolation, or

underestimating the value of political will, or

undervaluing economic strength, or

underspending tax dollars on military equipment and personnel, or

being unprepared for physical conflict

Charles Tadros, M.D.

July 24, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

WHEN IT COMES TO OUR OWN HEALTH AND HEALTHCARE, HOW “FOOLISH” ARE WE ALLOWED TO BE?

Apple’s Steve Jobs, during his bout with islet cell tumor (or gasteroenteropancreatic neuroendocrine tumor [GEP-NET]), despite his intelligence and his access to the best advice and care anywhere in the world, made poor choices (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4924574/#__ffn_sectitle) which shortened his life.


As with Jobs, we have the right to irreversibly screw up our lives. This is one consequence of, even well-informed, autonomy.


However, Jobs made these choices, uncoerced, and as he had lived his life: forcing his will and his vision to achieve goals via what others had warned him were unwise choices during exceedingly difficult situations.

The question is how does such autonomy affect everyone else (family, friends, caregivers, neighbors, coworkers, citizens, the medical system, etc.), and how much of a burden does one person’s autonomy affect these other people (eg, Jobs used a scarce resource, an urgent liver transplantation, once it was found that his neoplasm had metastasized to that organ)?

We all have cognitive biases, fears, hopeful/magical thinking, and difficulties understanding all the nuances behind the statistics of applicable studies (let alone if these were well designed studies which produced useful results).


My hope is for us to work toward a definition of autonomy to mean: uncoerced (from external and internal sources/biases), values-driven, well informed, evidence based personal choices and actions.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

July 14, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

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