NOT YOUR DOC

HOW WE DRINK ALCOHOL (what, when, where, how much), THE REASON(s) FOR DRINKING, AND HOW ALCOHOL AFFECTS US ARE MORE TELLING THAN WE REALIZE.

Why “Mom Juice” Culture Is Problematic https://katiecouric.com/podcast/next-question/moms-and-drinking/

How Drinking Less Solved a Lot of Problems https://nyti.ms/2MHnOIp

No adult wants to be questioned, judged, or regulated when it comes to anything in their lives, especially their alcohol consumption.

Thirty years of my accumulated experience, knowledge, and wisdom from taking care of patients, including addressing their alcohol use: http://notyourdoc.blog/2021/07/14/alcohol/

Charles Tadros, M.D.

April 21, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

SHORT TERM THINKING: “HOW MANY HOURS/HOW MANY SHIFTS WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO BUY THAT?” LONG-TERM THINKING: “IF I BUY THIS NOW, WHAT WILL THIS REALLY HAVE COST ME IF I HAD INVESTED THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY (into improving myself, improving my business, understanding real estate, investing in the stock market, etc) FOR THE NEXT 5, 10, OR 15 YEARS?”

Charles Tadros, M.D.

April 20, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

ANXIETY, FEAR, AND PANIC ARE LIKE FLESH EATING BACTERIA. ALL OF THESE SEVERE PROBLEMS TAKE MORE AND MORE OF OUR LIVES IF WE IGNORE THE SYMPTOMS AND DO NOTHING. WITH FLESH EATING BACTERIA, WE CAN SEE THE INFECTION INVADING THE BODY AND THE REDNESS, PAIN, AND SWELLING EXPANDING BY THE HOUR. ANXIETY, FEAR, AND PANIC EXPAND BEYOND THEIR INITIAL TERRITORY TOO. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO PUT UP A WALL TO PREVENT ANXIETY AND PANIC FROM PROGRESSING. WE ACTUALLY NEED HELP, WITH THE USE OF MEDICATIONS, TALK THERAPY, MEDITATION, AND PHYSICAL TECHNIQUES IN ORDER TO PUT INTO REMISSION, AND EVEN CURE, ANXIETY, FEAR, AND PANIC.

Often, anxiety, fear, and panic manifest as physical symptoms. These symptoms lead patients and the patients’ families and friends on months to years of emergency room visits, repeat visits to primary care physicians and specialists, blood testing and imaging, all the while missing the actual problems (and root causes) of fear, anxiety and panic.

In addition to physical symptoms, those who suffer from fear, anxiety, and panic, at times, will manifest additional, confounding, behaviors such as anger, irritability, depression, work-related and relationship problems, substance abuse, self-mutilation/cutting, eating disorders, and personality disorders.

Often, families and other supportive loved ones are so entangled with their loved ones’ symptoms and behaviors, that they themselves start advocating for anything to help decrease the symptoms and acting out/ behaviors that their loved one is demonstrating. Unfortunately, this misplaced advocacy and help, actually worsens everyone’s situation. Many times, I have asked families and other supportive loved ones to obtain their own counselor in order to help them understand their own feelings and responses to their loved ones’ psychological difficulties and behaviors. Often these families and loved ones have slipped into a codependency role with the patient: the families’ and loved ones’ behaviors and responses ACTUALLY WORSEN AND FURTHER ENTRENCH THE PATIENTS’ SYMPTOMS AND BEHAVIORS.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

April 20, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

EARLY IN LIFE, WHEN WE ARE STARTING TO MAKE AN INCOME, WE MAY WANT TO DONATE A PORTION OF OUR INCOME TO HELP SUPPORT A PLACE OF WORSHIP, HELP THE SICK, HELP THE ELDERLY, HELP CHILDREN, HELP THE HOMELESS, HELP HOMELESS OR ABUSED PETS, OR HELP THE ENVIRONMENT. GO AHEAD AND DONATE. START SMALL. DO NOT DELAY UNTIL WE ARE FINANCIALLY STABLE BEFORE WE ACT ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO US.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

April 14, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

ONCE WE ARE CONVINCED THAT IMPORTANT CHANGES NEED TO BE MADE IN OUR LIVES (OR WE ACTUALLY MAKE THESE CHANGES), OUR WORK IS NOT DONE. SINCE NONE OF US LIVE IN A VACUUM, WHAT MAY BE LEFT TO DO IS TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO: ALLOW THESE CHANGES, ACCEPT THESE CHANGES, SUPPORT US IN THESE CHANGES, OR AT LEAST NOT BLOCK OR CHALLENGE THESE CHANGES. OFTEN, OTHERS ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH OUR CHANGES, SO WE HAVE TO DECIDE IF WE ARE GOING TO SPEND TIME AND ENERGY CONVINCING THESE PEOPLE, OR IGNORING THESE PEOPLE.

What we often forget is that our changes force others to think about, or even expend energy on: understanding what is happening, supporting us, or even possibly needing to make their own changes.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

April 10, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

MANY TIMES WHEN ADULTS HAVE HAD DIFFICULT CHILDHOODS (trauma, basic needs not met, familial instability, abandonment, abuse, fear, confusion, personal illness or family members’ illnesses) THE STABLE AND SECURE FOUNDATIONS WHICH SHOULD HAVE DEVELOPED, NEVER FORMED. THESE HEALTHY FOUNDATIONS ARE IMPERATIVE IN ALLOWING YOUNGSTERS TO EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE NEST, EXPLORE, QUESTION, EXPERIMENT, FAIL, LEARN, AND STILL BE ABLE TO COME BACK TO LOVE, KINDNESS, APPROPRIATE CONSEQUENCES, REASONABLE BOUNDARIES, AND ACCEPTANCE. THESE ACTIONS AND RESPONSES ARE NEEDED IN ORDER TO HELP CHILDREN, WHO ARE NOW ADULTS, TO FORM A HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF AND TO BE ABLE TO HEALTHFULLY SELF REGULATE.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

March 6, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

By definition, learning something new means that we: don’t understand, haven’t been exposed to, are not familiar with, or have no prior knowledge with which to make a connection between the familiar and unfamiliar (i.e. to build on previous knowledge).

Many of us were expected to have straight “A’s” from school in order to prove our knowledge and mastery. However, as adults, we do not need “A’s” in order to gain the practical knowledge which will allows us to function better in our jobs and in our lives.

When adults state that, “It’s too late for me to learn that.”, or, “I can’t learn that.”, what they don’t realize is that they may have more desire to learn a subject than their younger self. Additionally, what they have not tried yet is the equivalent of the 6, 8, or 12 hours a day that young students have to spend in the classroom, on homework, or the after-hours practicing, training, and memorizing (while in high school, undergraduate, or graduate school).

For instance, in college, 1 credit hour means 1 hour of classroom (or lab, or studio) time per week plus an expectation of anywhere from 2 to 3 additional hours per week for homework, projects, etc. So, a typical 15 credit hour per semester course load for a full-time student, translates to 15 hours of classroom time per week plus an additional 30 to 45 hours of out of class study time per week.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

March 6, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

ON DEATH AND DYING

Sitting with, living with, or caring for someone for the last few weeks or months of life are the most revealing to what it really takes to provide good care and comfort for the terminally ill and the dying. Dropping in for a few minutes or FaceTiming the terminally ill or dying does not give any sense of the minute by minute needs of these loved ones, or the responsibilities of their caregivers.

Illness and death, as portrayed on TV and in movies, typically have little to do with the realities of the same events in real life. TV and movie dramatizations are needed in order to hold our attention and to move a storyline forward. However they do a severe injustice to the masses of people who are watching these shows, when it comes to helping these people in real life, to better understand and deal with death and dying.

Many families have to be exhausted (physically, emotionally, financially, even spiritually), in order to accept, without regret, the dying process and the eventual death of their loved ones. Sadly, some families’ denials are never resolved.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

March 4, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

For years, Saint Louis had the Globe Democrat, Post-Dispatch, Beacon (online) and other newspapers. All of these sources of news have/had different politics and different points of view. News outlets have always had a point of view (and not just expressed in their editorial columns). This makes for a lot of work for the rest of us if we do not want to rely on the story angle, or the data, facts, and statistics from one, “authoritative”, source.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

February 4, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri

OCCASIONALLY WE HAVE TO HAVE A PROPER FUNERAL, PAY OUR RESPECTS, AND LAY TO REST, THE WISE ADVICE FROM OTHERS, AS WELL AS FOR OUR OWN INSIGHTFUL EXPERIENCES, PERCEPTIONS, AND WELL THOUGH-OUT ASSUMPTIONS, WHEN ANY OFF THESE ARE NO LONGER HELPFUL IN IMPROVING, OR RESOLVING OUR CURRENT PROBLEMS.

It is so important for us to be able to properly let go (of thoughts, ideas, beliefs, experiences) in order for us to be able to move on.

Glean truths and applicable advice from others as well as our own wisdom, but don’t be married to these if they do not unstick us or help us move forward.

Charles Tadros, M.D.

March 4, 2022

Saint Louis, Missouri